Full Movie Reviews
Rating of
2.5/4
"Shoot 'Em Up" by Yojimbo
Yojimbo - wrote on 04/07/2012
Clive Owen is minding his own business when a pregnant woman stumbles by pursued by gun-toting villains. Feeling obliged to help, he ends up the target of an army of black-clad bad guys, complete with newborn baby and hooker with a heart in tow. If Raising Arizona had been written by Jackie Chan and directed by John Woo, this film would've been the result! Shoot 'em up does exactly what is says on the tin; it's really nothing more than a collection of nicely choreographed set-pieces and painful one liners. To be honest, it's the kind of film where if one single part of it had been misjudged, the whole thing would've fallen apart. For example, if super-cool Clive Owen hadn't been cast as Mr. Smith and we'd had Jason Statham instead, it probably would've reeked. But as it is, it's just the …
Rating of
2.5/4
Shoot 'Em Up (2007)
MovieAddict - wrote on 01/21/2012
"Is this guy really this good, or do we just suck?"
Clive Owen is awesome as Mr. Smith, a carrot crunching man who takes it upon himself to protect a baby from a ruthless assassin (Paul Giammati) and his infinite number of henchmen after he prevents a gunman from murdering a woman on the verge of giving birth and finds himself holding the baby when the mother is killed in the crossfire. What ensues is a glorious gun-fest and several shoot outs between Smith and various hit men hell bent on snuffing the child out. The baby is the offspring of the last surviving of three mothers impregnated to give birth to children so that they can donate their bone marrow to a seriously ill presidential candidate. Monica Bellucci is the lactating prostitude whom Owen bribes into assisting with the …
Rating of
2/4
Shoot 'Em Up review
Daniel Corleone - wrote on 07/29/2011
The movie felt like a huge video game. The sound track for the film is alright, some lines funny, action scenes were cool and the cast did a decent job. Like so many, the main concern was the believability of each scene. The concept was deep, unfortunately the scenes became buffoonish. Clive Owen was better in The International. If you like action with guns blazing with not much story then this is for you. Shooter was definitely better. The Professional is another film I highly recommend. …
Rating of
1.5/4
people don't kill people carrots do
lpd381 - wrote on 01/11/2011
Whoa, I can buy a lot of things, aliens coming to earth and blowing up the white house? You betcha. 300 guys standing against thousands all while wearing nothing more than a loin cloth? sure! Hundreds of troops hiding in a giant wooden horse and then defeating the Trojans? okay. Eddy Murphy being able to talk to animals? why not. Sarah Jessica Parker being sexy? That's a bit of a stretch. But I can not for one second believe you can kill people with a carrot, that's just something I can not buy. I also can not but that they make baby sized bullet proof vests, in camo no less and I can't get behind shooting an umbilical cord off. And most off all you can not be shot at by hundreds of people and only get winged once in the shoulder. There was just too much suspension of disbelief for me in …
Rating of
2/4
The Cinema Slaughterhouse - Shoot 'em up
Mr.Cinema - wrote on 11/09/2010
As a reviewer, I have a list of my favorite actors. Clive Owen is an awsome, Paul Giamatti can be funny on occasions, and Monica Bellucci is hot. So these three are amazing in this movie. Shoot 'Em Up isnt the best shoot 'em up movie which is actually really confusing, but its definatley in the top 5. Its slick, stylish, funny and has enough one-liners to rival the number in "Army of Darkness". Its also pretty interesting to see how this movie goes from a plot about an orphaned baby, to a sky-diving shoot-out! Clive Owen is awsome as always as the angry carrot-loving Mr. Smith, Monica Bellucci is hot as always as the lactating hooker Quintana, an Paul Giamatti is funny as... sometimes the joking genius Karl Hertz. On a last note, this movie has a KICKING ROCK SOUNDTRACK! So if you like …
Rating of
2.5/4
"Banging"
Freddie - wrote on 10/22/2008
This is one of those movies that are what they are. Once you get through the first 5 minutes you realize that it is absent of all realism. When they finally started getting into the plot it was like " uuhh okay." The babies are being bred to give bone marrow to a presidential candidate, but someone hates this idea and kills all the mothers but one gets away. ..for a little while. Then they have this crazy carrot obsessed maniac coming in out of nowhere and shooting every body up, while meanwhile he and a hooker try to care for the newly orphaned baby. Whatever...they needed to make the movie about SOMETHING, right? Once I realized that this was purely for visual effect I was able to sit back and admire the creative ways that Owen was able to handle a gun. He could shoot while delivering …
Rating of
3/4
An Action Film With ADD
Franz Patrick - wrote on 02/21/2008
This movie is so over-the-top to the point where it got crappy and then so good. My initial thought about this film was, "This is just another action film that defies all the laws of physics." But then thirty minutes into it, I realized that I was having a good time watching it. After I got into it, I realized that the film is extremely self-aware and it's not pretending to be anything else but an action film that does not make any sense. One major misstep for me is that they tried to inject some sort of story regarding a political conspiracy half-way through the movie. At first it was interesting because my conclusion was, "Oh, my God. They're cloning babies!" because I have this strange penchant for clones and cloning. But then all that excitement went away after ten minutes and I …
