Full Movie Reviews
Rating of
1/4
"Attack Of The Clones" by Yojimbo
Yojimbo - wrote on 05/05/2012
And so the irritating child has become a pouty teenager who is quite possibly carved from the finest mahogany. After grudgingly revisiting this, my least favourite of the prequels (and that's up against some STIFF competition) I have to say that my initial anger has subsided somewhat and given way to a kind of post-modern amusement. George cannot write or direct, that much is clear. The plot to padding ratio of the script is amongst the most shocking I've ever seen and some of the dialogue is surely the worst ever spewed forth on the silver screen (what woman could possibly resist the old "you're not like sand" routine...) The attempts at humour are also embarrassing to say the least; I've seen better jokes on ice lolly sticks. The sequence in the droid factory looks like it was included …
Rating of
3/4
Episode II - One Step Forward, Two Steps Back
Chris Kavan - wrote on 05/19/2009
Again, full-fledged Star Wars fanboy here, with my take on Episode II, Attack of the Clones.
I don't think this is a step up from The Phantom Menace (which had its share of problems and many detractors). This isn't aimed at the kids anymore, but it still has its problems. First off, and the most vocal criticism, is the casting of Hayden Christensen (taking a line from Clerks II - "Mannequin Skywalker). This was not a good choice. He has no chemistry with Natalie Portman (important for a forbidden love story) and he doesn't work much better with McGregor. There is a master/apprentice thing going, but I though Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon was a much better pairing.
Luckily, if you can get past this casting mistake (and the wooden love story) the rest of Clones is actually a good story. You …
Rating of
3/4
A good follow-up to Episode 1
The M.O.W. - wrote on 08/02/2008
One of the most high-profile targets of the opposition is "Senator Padme Amidala" (Natalie Portman) of "Naboo," who escapes an assassination attack thanks to her look-alike decoy, who gave her life to save that of the former queen. "Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi" (Ewan McGregor) and his apprentice "Anakin Skywalker" (now being played by Hayden Christiensen) are dispatched by the "Jedi Council" to protect the young politician. Upon their first meeting in the senator's home, she almost doesn't recognizes the former slave she first met on the desert planet of "Tatooine" ten years ago.
What the "Jedi" discovers is that the on-going assassination attempts on the senator is just a small part of a much larger plan to cause unrest in the already fragile "Republic" which will lead to a war where …
Rating of
1.5/4
Review - Attack of the Clones (2002)
Delorted - wrote on 07/09/2008
There years after the fiasco that was "The Phantom Menace," George Lucas brings us another chapter in his epic saga. While a lot of the problems from the first were gone, a whole new set of problems awaited us in "Attack of the Clones."
First of all, it's still just a toy marketing ploy. It's still pointless action with pointless characters, but this time there's actually character and plot development, regardless of how pathetic it may be. The action is vastly improved from Phantom, but not to the point of actual enjoyment, save for one scene near the end that ends up being way too short.
I know it's been done to death, but I have to bash Hayden Christensen now. He is the new Keanu Reeves. When Keanu stops acting, Hayden will rise to be the supreme ruler of suckage. I'll admit, in …
