Full Movie Reviews
Rating of
1/4
"Cowabunga Cavemen"
MovieGuy878 - wrote on 05/15/2009
"10,000 B.C." is a laughably bad and ridiculous epic adventure movie that fails on almost every level. The story is stupid and unoriginal, while the characters are ones you rather see die than live. The terribly wooden acting, filled with most no name actors doesnt help things any. All of the blame must go on director Roland Emmerich, who is now obessed with visuals over a rich and rewarding story. He is like Michael Bay, but not as talented. They are some entertaining sequences but they are only a few and they are so short. The worst thing about a bad movie is when it bores, and this one becomes boring fast. "10,000 B.C" has to be one of the most historically inaccurate movies ever because theres things that like wooly mammoths that help in the building of pyramids and cavemen that are …
Rating of
2/4
Mediocrity Abound
Franz Patrick - wrote on 08/31/2008
Everyone loves to hate this movie but it really wasn’t that bad. I think one of the main reasons why people disliked this film is because the trailers promised an epic greatness. As it turns out, the picture turns out to be hugely inaccurate and not as magneficient as people expected it was going to be. For me, I ignored all the inaccuracies and just focused on how exciting it was and if the story made sense. On both fronts, I thought it was mediocre: there were pulse-pounding scenes but most often followed by tedious speeches when the characters voice out what they think. The story did not really make much sense but it was bearable. “10,000 B.C.” has a handful of similarities with “Apocalypto,” but the latter is a lot more skillful in its storytelling and scope. For those …
Rating of
1/4
More Michael Bay then Mel Gibson
Tino - wrote on 05/16/2008
10,000 B.C. is the kind of movie that you sit through, thinking of entirely better films for the whole length of the movie. This is a whopper of a misdeal. This is trying to be the next epic adventure movie, and there is really nothing epic about it. It is a flat, dull, almost embarrassing try for sword and shields action-adventure movie, but there is very little action and no real sense of adventure here. Roland Emmerich has gone from a valued action 'epic film' director, to a bad quality effects director, similar to Michael Bay. From the glory days (somewhat glory, nowhere near great masterpieces) of Independence Day, Stargate, and the Patriot, he has come to less character development, less story, and more action, and long supposed-to-be-dramatic shots of character faces. This is …
Rating of
2/4
An Epic Misstep
Chris Kavan - wrote on 03/31/2008
You know, I always wanted to visit Africa, Egypt, the Amazon, the Alps, seasonal plains with woolly mammoth hunts... I just never believed it could happen in ONE movie!
Roland Emmerich seems to delight in picking and choosing his historical moments, as well as his settings. It's like he had a huge board filled with events (The Pyramids - sure. Domesticated Horses... good. Cool bird / dinosaur hybrids... alright) and various settings (jungle... desert... frozen mountains) then blindfolding himself and threw darts at said board.
Meanwhile, we have to have a story to go along with this mash-up of history: a love story for the ages and a the rise of a warrior who lead a group and save his enslaved people and unit the tribes of the world! I think he threw dart for the story too, only …
Rating of
1.5/4
A Prehistoric Tragedy
GeminiSixty6 - wrote on 03/16/2008
I had really high expectations going into this film, but unfortunately within the first thirty minutes I realized my time would have better been spent learning historical information about 10,000 B.C. at the Smithsonian Institution. The film was way too hyped up. I remember seeing the first teaser trailer for it with all the words flashing up: Life, Death, Love, Betrayal, and etc. I’m sitting there with my mouth hanging open just anxious to see this one, and then Roland Emmerich pops up as the director, and I get even giddier. He has a very impressive resume: Stargate, Independence Day, and The Day After Tomorrow just to name a few.
So, back to movie time…I’m expecting this visual masterpiece since Mr. Emmerich was directing, and in all honesty he really didn’t …
Rating of
2/4
Could have been great, but wasn't
Josh C - wrote on 03/11/2008
Roland Emmerich had all the elements for a great movie, or at least a very entertaining one, but let it slip through his fingers.
The story was sound and if it wasn't narrated it may have actually been really good. Instead, the narration was too spelled out which slowed the story. I don't need to be told that someone has died or is dying if I am watching them die. I think it is safe to assume I am not blind when going to a movie. This was my biggest pet peeve with this movie.
The action was good and the characters for the most part were believable. I enjoyed most of the movie because of this aspect, but again I just wish it moved slower. I was also surprised that some of the special effects were a lousy as they were. This is a guy who directed "Day after Tomorrow" and …
Rating of
1.5/4
Massive Huge Big Gigantic Mess
BryanFury - wrote on 03/08/2008
This movie is huge, hugely disappointing. Don't be fooled by the name 10,000 B.C. it’s just a name that's it. I really thought that this movie was so epic it would put the lord of the rings to shame. It turned out to be just a mere smudge of an ambitious epic that would not even compare to Mr. Tolkien’s masterpiece. There is really no comparison, because one there is no ring, no Saruman and most definitely no Frodo. What we have was a guy with a big white spear and like’s to run around half naked and who would have believed he was suppose to be “the savior of their tribe”. Everything is crazy, from the plot to the story. And the only thing that would have saved this movie but yet failed was Camilla Belle’s robotic performance which absolutely destroyed all hope there is. Not …
