Full Movie Reviews
Rating of
1/4
"Babylon A.D." by Yojimbo
Yojimbo - wrote on 02/29/2012
A mercenary in a distopian near future is employed to deliver a mysterious young woman to New York. Babylon AD plays out as a kind of Children Of Men meets Mad Max clone as Diesel does his usual laconic tough guy routine in the company of the impossibly cute Melanie Thierry and the ever watchably graceful Michelle Yeoh. In fact the slick visuals and entertaining action underpinned by an intriguingly enigmatic premise meant I was struggling to see why this film recieved such a savage pasting by the critics. And then it just...ends. No, ends is not the right word. It stops. No explanantions, no revelations. It just stops. Dead. In such a way that flew through the "Is that it?!" barrier, sailed over "WTF???" territory and lands firmly in "You've got to be f***ing kidding me." land. The fact …
Rating of
1/4
35%
CJP - wrote on 10/08/2008
Action: 1.5/3 + Comedy: 0/2 + Good vs Evil: 0.5/1 + Love/Sex: 0/1 + Special Effects: 0.5/1 + Plot: 1/1 + Music: 0/1 = 3.5/10 or 35%.
A rogue mercenary is hired to transport a genetically engineered version of the Virgin Mary, named Aurora, and her martial arts expert of a nun-guardian to America. The purpose is that the girl will have a virgin birth which will initiate that the Neolite religion, which is never explained or explored, become the most dominate in the world.
Explaining all this is time consuming and burdonsome, but not nearly as burdensome as sitting through and awaiting this mess to end. It is obviously a sci-fi version of the Jesus story, the mercenary even gets his palms pierced to reference Jesus' death, and then he's brought back to life and given a robotic hand …
Rating of
0.5/4
A bleak future...for film
goodfellamike - wrote on 09/05/2008
One has to approach this turkey with the same trepidation as walking a tightrope with a blindfold on. It looks like it will be a bad movie from the get go, but a couple of moments during the trailer make it look like a fun throwaway action movie. This however is not the case, in fact, there’s barely any action to be found in its 90 minute running time.
During the exposition, we learn just about everything we need to know. Vin Diesel portrays a badass mercenary. With a body like his and his tendency to appear in just about any movie offered to him, what else would you expect him to play? He’s hired by shady criminal czar Gerard Depardieu (who’s heavily made-up to appear even uglier than he already is, and heavily dubbed as well) to transport young girl, Aurora …
