Rating of
2/4
"Whiteout" by Yojimbo
Yojimbo - wrote on 12/31/11
When a US Marshall operating out of a base in Antarctica discovers a dead body in the middle of nowhere, she must uncover the culprit before a huge snowstorm cuts them off from the outside world. Whiteout begins with a gratuitous action scene followed by a computer generated plane crash. Then our first glance of the snowbound lawperson (hot, of course) is of her stripping off (well, what else would a person do if they were in Antarctica...?) Cue the mysterious body followed by clumsy flashbacks of an event that now defines her entire character and the appearance of a square-jawed partner (hot, of course) and wise-cracking black sidekick. Enter the storm to create an excuse for a race against time and some running around with guns/ice axes. Voila, the identity of the culprit, who is as ever the one we "least suspect", and epilogue showing how she has overcome her personal demons. The end. Once again the Hollywood conveyor belt churns out a production line script and we are supposed to give a crap just because the hero is pretty. The highlight of the film (by a mile) is seeing Kate bend over in her underwear, but even that happens in the first 15 minutes. The rest of the film contains a lot of pretty snowbound locations that add what superficially seems like a different flavour, but what we really have here is yet another efficient but dumb American thriller that's completely interchangeable with all the others. Difficult to hate, but even more difficult to care about.
