Rating of
N/A
Mindless in Manolos
E-Volver - wrote on 06/01/08
I admit that I have never been a fan of Sarah Jessica Parker, and her pointless pout. Frankly, the allure of S&TC has always been the glitz and glamour of it all. Quite like New York, it may not be the ability to party like a rockstar, but the accessibility to that ability, that makes all the difference. So when the movie's around the corner, I'm thinking - Snappy narrative decked up in Furstenberg, styled by Escada, to the backdrop of the sexiest city in the world. With script that esoterically and unabashedly oozes with Manhattan pride, dripping in sexy shock value, tailored with dialogue where designer labels are used more often than prepositions. But how are they going to cover the issue of substance? The TV show barely has enough of it, sufficient to keep your attention for 22 minutes, sans commercials. But here's a question I never thought I'd have to ask - who has ever watched S&TC for the intense emotional side of it all? Isn't that what Maury is for?
Emotionalization. This would probably be the iceberg on the route, and the most apparent, "elephant-in-the-room"-type mistake in the concept-level scripting of the movie. They deepened something that the world has come to love as shallow. For most, S&TC (the show) is a whipped-cream-laden hot-fudge sundae after a week on the South Beach diet. Its about fleeting indulgence. But when you pack it into a 2-1/2 hour "chic" flick, you don't expect to see a whiny tale of break-ups and make-ups, laden with tears, repentance and forgiveness. Unfortunately, S&TC is almost funereal (albeit well-dressed), for the most part. I mean, one of the montages actually had Auld Lang Syne in the background. Auld Lang Syne? Was this a documentary on the Irish potato famine? And the best part was that, as the end of the reel approached, I'm assuming one of the crew members (probably the SoHo intern) suddenly realized that they need to spice it back up. Everyone just magically cleans up their act and becomes happy again. The justification of the resolution is shorter than Thursday-night dresses in the MPD (a record which I always thought was tough to break).
On the show, the multi-layered vignettes of the 4 women that patch in together are absolutely key, but this is startlingly eliminated as the movie predominantly focuses on the trials and tribulations of Carrie Bradshaw, with almost apologetic diversions into the lives of the others (and significant sidelining of my boo, Charlotte. Yes, I said boo. Get over it).
Without the trademark romps around sleek Manhattan social nights (with the exception of an oh-so-obvious sponsored plug for Fashion Week), the hype around S&TC wrote a check that the movie just wasn't able to cash. Honestly, it felt more like watching an R-rated version of the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, than the big-screen version of the TV show of the same name.
Pretentiousness and Promiscuity in Penthouses, Cosmopolitans in Sleek Lounges, Sexy People in Obscenely-Priced Clothes, Hot Parties in Obscenely-Priced Pads. With expectations like these, evidently built by the last few seasons, one was clearly ill-prepared for the movie's affected focus on the M-word, especially after setting the trend of being the most anti-commitment show on TV. S&TC had become many a viewer's partner-in-crime as they either fantasized about or related to facts like "everything is temporary" and "life is short". Why? Oh, why did the makers have to choose to suddenly play the "scruples and values" card on us? Its like day-traders playing long-only strategies? Its like the Gospel Channel playing on MTV After Dark? These, and many more questions, boggle one's mind while watching the disappointing travesty that is S&TC: The Movie. What should have been crisply edited and crafted as an exciting one-night stand, resulted in a long-drawn, bitter and painful relationship.
If trademark S&TC masala is what you expect on the grill, sauteed with not-so-subtle sarcasm, curb those expectations, and wait for the DVD. And if you're a female and a big fan of the TV show, hide the chocolate cakes and your credit cards, because the post-watching depression will lead you to indulge on both.
