Rating of
1.5/4
LOUD NOISES (in 3D)
memento_mori - wrote on 07/14/13
Spoilers
This was such a 'sigh' movie. I call it that, because it was exactly what I did when it ended. It just wasn't anything original.
I am tired of Hollywood producing junk after junk with the same premise and a different location.
I will go in-depth about the flaws in this movie.
Every character in this movie is bland and stereotypical. NO ONE is new.
It has everything. The main character who suffered something tragic, fell from grace, but finds the will within ten minutes to stand back up again. The crazy scientist who has a German name and types on the computer keyboard like he is angry about something. The obsessive nerd with the whiny voice (Charlie Day), who desperately wants to see a monster for who knows why and regrets it the second he sees one. And the cool black guy who's everybody's favorite character.
Idris Elba isn't even close to memorable in this movie. Everyone praises him and his big speech, which was laughable. It was ten seconds long and immediately everyone starts cheering because they have to. He makes some stupid decisions. There is a Japanese girl who wants revenge for the destruction of her home and family. He refuses to let her have her vengeance, but out of absolutely nowhere says: Okay, you can go. Why does he do it? So that the story can go on. Brilliant writing.
Speaking of the Japanese girl, she was just ignorant. She destroys an alien in mid-air for destroying her home, but a minute later lands extremely powerfully in a town, destroying it herself. What a hypocrite.
Now, to the main character. Producers, will you stop casting unknown actors in big movies?! It never works out! You proved that with Sam Worthington, Taylor Kitsch and Armie Hammer! Even if high-class actors like Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt are expensive, hire a familiar face like Chris Hemsworth or Edward Norton!
This movie is just cliché after cliché after cliché. It's the 1000th movie of the same kind with the same exact plot structure with special effects that outweigh everything.
Yes, they're impressive, but like in Man of Steel, they're over the top, overproduced and unnecessary!
It's basically Guillermo del Toro kicking Peter Jackson in the nuts and telling him: I can make a better movie than the Hobbit! He just got lost in his own fantasy.
It's Transformers with more loud noises and explosions. Michael Bay is a Chihuahua standing next to Del Toro.
Something positive: The music.
Another Hollywood cash-grab with robots and aliens that remain unexplained in the convoluted script, underdeveloped characters we're supposed to care about and loud noises to top off the acid-spewing, blood-gushing, mayhem-filled, thrill-seeking imploding exploding rampage of unnecessary 3D that's there to lighten your wallet by two more dollars... Oh, and it's PG-13. Yeah, let's steal money from 13-year-olds, too.
