Rating of
4/4
I'm Thinking of-
Matthew Brady - wrote on 09/25/20
“Coming home is just...awful.”
Where do I even begin with this movie? Even if I did attempt to explain, it still would not be fulfilling. I don't have words to describe how incredibly touched I was on my first watch. I knew immediately after the first watch that I needed to watch it again. To quote film critic Roger Ebert in his ‘Synecdoche, New York’ review, “I watched it the first time and knew it was a great film and that I had not mastered it.” I am going to start with a traditional structured review like my other ones but depart half-way through with a spoiler review by stating my interpretation for a couple of scenes. This one is going to be different because my head is like a hurricane of thoughts, and I would usually get “brain freeze” whenever I try to explain certain things.
Perhaps I missed something, but I'm not sure what. Or perhaps it just confirmed my deepest darkest fears that no movie has ever addressed. The movie frightened me, but again I do not know why. Some things felt incredibly personal, and yet still I don't know why.
I'm Thinking of-
Sorry for rambling on; I’m not the one to captivate an audience. Look, I know you got better things to do and so do I. Heck, I bet most people who liked this review probably didn’t even read it but trying to be nice. Or maybe some people started to read it but got bored since am taking such a long time to say what I liked about the movie. Am I overthinking it? Should I put unrealistic expectations on myself to write a review that will do justice to what the movie presents? Does it really matter? Is there any point in writing this?
I’m Thinking-
I loved the movie. It’s one of the best movies I’ve seen all year. A poetic and beautiful movie in the strangest of ways. The movie has so much to say about relationships, theatre, past, family, death, etc. So, what does these themes that the movie is trying to say can relate to you? Well, personally, that is for you to decide. A movie that can be interpreted in so many ways but can convey the same emotional gut punch is unique beyond words.
The performances from everyone were all excellent. Jessie Buckley as The Young Women, and Jesse Plemons as Jake, both gave the best performances of their careers and of the year. Both manage to bring every type of emotion that made every scene feel so extraordinary. Also, Plemons has got such a beautiful singing voice, especially the “PACK OF LIES!” part. This guy continues to surprise me.
Toni Collette and David Thewlis were fantastic as Jake’s parents. Just from their mannerisms, delivery of dialogue, and coo coo characteristics made them instantly memorable.
The cinematography, score, writing, editing, and the sound work were nothing short but impeccable. I love how the shots and framing makes the overall setting of the movie feel so limited. Almost like it is coming from one’s imagination and memory of such forgotten places. The quick and unpredictable cuts give the perfect impression of “thinking out loud” and makes the pace feel so disorganized, which adds to the surrealness. I love the gentle and whimsical score with a little touch of sadness, which sings the sweet sorrows from a place that hurts the most.
Not everyone is a Charlie Kaufman fan and if you’re not a fan, then this movie won’t do it for you. Some may be annoyed with the movie “artsy-fartsy” presentation and overall message. Or maybe people are so use to fast food that they have forgotten what an actual meal is. Still, I can totally understand why, but you should not judge this movie as “poorly made” or “being weird for the shake of being weird”, if it wants you to interpret what's going on with such openness, as it leaves so much in the dark.
Spoiler Warning!
Now I will be getting into spoiler area, as I will be discussing and analysing certain scenes, and my own interpretations. So, if you have not seen the movie but want to, then run away from your computer or phone screen. Let us begin.
1.) The Young Woman (Jessie Buckley) is a projection and embodiment of Jakes life. The Young Woman likes poetry, science, and painting. At one point she shows Jake’s parents her paintings on her phone, but the father doesn’t like them, while the mother is more supportive. However, those are Jakes paintings and later when the girlfriend goes down into the basement, there are oiled paintings in the corner, same ones on her phone. Another example would be throughout the movie her shirt kept changing colours because she exists only in his head, and he kept making small mistakes on the persona he created.
I think the reason why Jake did this is because he thought that by placing his interest and hobbies onto this woman that he created in his head, then maybe there might be a spark in their chemistry and hopefully become that “happy” couple that the movies lied to him about. This is the reason why the conversation at the beginning of the movie between the two felt so forced and awkward, which the movie straight away gives you a hint that something is not right. When we start to learn that these are in fact Jake’s, it removes itself from her, and her interaction and mood towards him changes very much. The movie quite literally pulls an Alfred Hitchcock’s ‘Psycho’ on us, when we thought the main character would be the woman, but it was him the whole time. On a second re-watch it becomes much more clear as the camera seems to linger on Jake more. There is a scene where she recites a poem called "Bonedog" by Eva H.D., and halfway through she breaks the fourth wall and looks straight at the camera. Now she is not addressing the poem to us, but towards Jake, as his own subconscious is destroying his fantasy by bringing in a little reality.
2.) Throughout the movie, it would occasionally cut to an old and out of shape school Janitor, as we see him doing his usual cleaning around the school, sometimes with kids around. The kids at the school either stay around and work, whilst others move on. Now the Janitor is meant to be Jake. He dreams, and yet never made his dreams a reality. Some of the kids at the school such as the two mean girls at the beginning mocking him, and the shy girl with the rash on her arms that he walked past briefly would later appear in the Ice Cream scene. He sees kids every day and they become characters in his fantasy with the same characteristics.
3.) The dance scene towards the end (which by the way was so beautiful to watch and unexpected considering where the movie was leading up to), I believe it represents a “what if” scenario for The Janitor (Jake) if he would have just talked to her when he first saw her. Maybe both of them would fall in love and have a perfect life together, which this dance symbolises the dreamy warm delight of love. It just shows you how magical their love could have been. But then The Janitor kills the youthful self that he wished he were. You know, the one who got the girl and lived a happy life. At this point in the movie, he has come to terms that he cannot keep living in his fantasy. So, The Janitor killing young Jake meant that reality has finally hit him, and he finally accepts that things will never be the way he imagined it.
After some thinking, he finally ended it.
4.) I am split between if Jake did or did not kill himself towards the end. A part of me feels like him dying seems like a certainty as it was heavily hinted throughout. Another part of me feels it ends less bleak, as Jake doesn't die. Perhaps a near death experience after nearly freezing to death in his car might have woken him up and see things differently. He finally rejects every negative thing people have said to him and to himself. Finally seeing the cloud with a silver lining. The title itself can convey any meaning for your liking. Mine is a mix bag.
5.) During the musical climax of the movie, Jake sings the musical ‘Oklahoma’, we see everyone in the audience with a couple of familiar faces, who have that powered white face make-up you see in theatre productions, with that comic book lines draw on their faces to represent facial features, which makes them all look old and ghostly. Everyone there was someone he knew in the past. It's like in the TV show ‘The Leftovers’, where Nora (played by Carrie Coon) says that returning to old places to recreate old nostalgic feelings and memories won't be the same, because everyone there has either moved on or left. In the end, you are just a ghost from the past. By not moving on, you find yourself in the same place, wondering why everybody has moved and not you. And yet, you still find yourself returning to that place to hopefully find some healing and deny what is present, but disappointment seems to be the result.
Let me tell you something personal about myself. Sometimes whenever am free and nearby, I would come and visit my old primary school and college. However, these visits became more often. When I first started college, there was this small park next to my college, and I would use to sit at a park bench in my first year on my first day, because I had no one to talk and I was too shy. It was a scary time to be independent when you have no hopes for the future. As the year progress, everything got better. Years later, I went back to that same park and sat down where I use to sit to feel a sense of progression from where I started compared to now, but I felt nothing and after two minutes got up and left. My college is in town and I must get two bus. So, my trips were pointless but every time I tell myself I will feel it again someday. Maybe some good memories will come flooding back. I would also look up old photos whenever I have too much time on my hands, while I listen to music. Sometimes the photos don’t have me in it, but the most frequently ones are old theatre productions from college that I remembered seeing. My attention is not actually on the performers on stage, but the audience members, as I can recognise some familiar faces in the dark. Faces stuck in awe and excitement forever captured in a frame. I would stare at it and imagine years from now when am on stage with a successfully career and doing what I love, while the people I care and love the most are there during my success, hopefully with those same exact facial expressions.
Do not worry, I plan to make my dreams my master.
If only you could step into my shoes to have a better understanding. It will be so much easier if we slipped into other people’s shoes. We will understand each other so much better if we had that power.
I am 21 years old as am writing this review, so the fact I found certain elements of this movie felt so personal makes me wonder what effect it will have years from now. That’s the beauty of the movie, that no age, no gender, no race, or sexuality can’t stop it from feeling so relatable, even if you can’t pin point why, but it is felt, sometimes in the deepest section of your heart and soul that no light can touch. Now that is what I call a great movie.
So yeah, I liked the movie a lot.
Overall rating: I am not sure how to conclude after all of that. Oh wait, I know... “Billy Crystal is a nancy.”
