Rating of
2.5/4
The Long Ranger (cuz it's too dam long)
Indyfreak - wrote on 07/23/14
This movie has a lot going for it but by god it wants you to hate it anyway. To be honest, my review is for a two star movie but I enjoyed it more than I though I would so that's what the half star is for.
All the problems with this movie stem from the fact that it is too f**king long and the writers (same duo behind POTC film series) clearly had no idea how to fill up the inconceivable 2.5 hour running time. Whose idea was to make this two and a half hours long?!?!?! If one was to take the first act and the finale (the best parts of the film) and make a movie out of that, they'd be alright but they just had to **** this up anyway, didn't they?
Johnny Depp is channeling all his previous roles but he looks like he's enjoying himself for once. Armie Hammer seriously got screwed over by the writers. His character is the hero and the lead character (on paper. it's clearly Tonto's picture.) but he's such a wimp half the time. This is an embarrassment. William Fichtner is great as the villain but he's for a totally different movie since he keeps cutting people's hearts out and eating them. Jesus Christ, Disney, wtf is wrong with you?
That being said, the best part of the movie is the finale which is probably the most fun I had for the 2013 blockbuster season. Seriously, just watch the ending and maybe the first 30 minutes and you'll be fine. There was just no reason for this movie to be two and a half hours long. That is what makes all of its other problems so irritating and obvious and annoying.
I actually enjoyed this far more than I'm letting on but while you're watching this movie, there is so much to like and be entertained by but there is so much that is wrong that it takes you out of the experience and you end up hating its guts half the time for it.
