Rating of
1.5/4
Conan the Destroyer - You know, for KIDS!!!!
Indyfreak - wrote on 11/13/15
If you expect Conan the Destroyer to be just as violent and brutal as Conan the Barbarian, you're half right. Despite a PG rating and a slightly more family friendly atmosphere, it's surprisingly just as bloody as the original film. Ah the 80s. However being violent is not enough to make a good Arnold Schwarzenegger movie. The humor is supplied by Tracey Walter who looks the part but sounds wooden as the chair supporting my butt off the ground. The action itself is standard stuff you'd expect in a sword-and-sorcery movie.
Still, I do appreciate the cinematography and how they actually BUILT everything for fantasy movies back then instead of rendering it on a green-screen. The sets are stylish and look fantastic. If there is something else to like in this movie, it's Grace Jones as a scantily clad but tough as nails Amazon warrior. She gets what is to be expected of her character like Schwarzenegger and in fairness, Sarah Douglas does well too as the evil queen. Mako returns as the wizard but he's phoning it in again and Wilt Chamberlain looks lost as a club wielding brawler. Even worse than Walter is Olivia D'abo as a hapless princess who I guess we're supposed to find dainty and cute.
What is especially strange about Conan the Destroyer is how comparatively slow paced it is next to its predecessor. Perhaps that's because it's nowhere near as much fun.
