Rating of
0.5/4
An American Carol Falls 'Flat'
Zachary Roesch - wrote on 10/13/08
“Oh, Grandpa fell asleep again.”
“No, he’s dead.”
That’s right; Grandpa’s heart has stopped… most likely on account of severe boredom. Why you ask? Well he must have been watching An American Carol, the new David Zucker film starring Kevin Farley. After leaving the theatre I was in a state of languor. I had spent the last 83 minutes watching the extreme Right Wing’s humor… ehem, pardon me, attempts at humor. No movie can be that bad, you say? Well, let me put it this way… Beverly Hills Chihuahua is getting better reviews.
An American Carol is the Right Wing’s attempt at a propaganda film. The Left has Michael Moore (love him or hate him he knows how to make an entertaining documentary), and the Right has… the guy who brought us Airplane and The Naked Gun series!? So how would David Zucker choose to combat Michael Moore? By making fun of him of course. Kevin Farley, the younger brother to the late Chris Farley, is the anti-American filmmaker Michael Malone who is on a mission to abolish the 4th of July because of what it symbolizes. After winning another award for Best Documentary (which according to An American Carol is not a legitimate form of filmmaking) Malone wants to make a feature film so that he will be taken seriously in the industry. Enter the terrorists. Members of the Taliban come to America seeking Malone. They want him to make a feature for them that instructs Jihadists on how to properly be a human bomb.
In an attempt to persuade Malone to be more patriotic, the ghosts of John F. Kennedy (Chriss Anglin), George Washington (Jon Voight), and General George S. Patton (Kelsey Grammar) visit Malone. Much like Dickens’ A Christmas Carol, Malone’s is taken forward or backward in time by the three American patriots. On his metaphysical journey, Malone watches Neville Chamberlain shine Hitler’s shoes, while Hitler, Mussolini, and Tojo sing Kumbaya. He is then taken to the American South, sans the Civil War where he meets, Gary Coleman, apparently desperate for work, as a slave—all in an America where terrorists have taken over--complete with a billboard in Times Square for Victoria’s Burka. Meanwhile, a plot to detonate a bomb at a 4th of July concert in Madison Square Garden underscores the visits of the apparitions. And, as you would expect from a movie using A Christmas Carol, Malone reforms his views on America and apologizes like the Scrooge that he is.
An American Carol misses every mark that it sets out to hit. The jokes are flat—no wit. The sight gags evaporate into meaninglessness. And, the acting, especially that of Farley, is inept. Some jokes are taken too far, crossing over into offending Muslim culture instead of roasting the terrorists Take my advice and stay far, far away from An American Carol. If I can’t convince you, just remember that a movie about pampered, talking “dogs” is more worth your time.
