Rating of
1/4
A giant, steaming, pile of crap
Josh C - wrote on 11/28/08
Transporter is dead to me. The things that I loved about the first one are not in transporter 3 at all. There was not enough action, long drawn out dull parts, a terrible soundtrack and one of the main characters was so annoying I almost left the theatre.
It was easily the worst movie I have seen this year. What I don't get is how they screwed it up this badly. If director Oliver Megaton had watched the first two he would have noticed that there was lots of action. No one really cares about the plot in these movies. Give us action and your fans will be happy enough. The second one was way over the top as far as realistic action, but still it was enjoyable to watch. This one is just a giant turd.
About half way through the movie, right after Jason Statham was getting ready to do a strip-tease, I was contemplating on walking out. I didn't because I thought maybe it could recover, but it just got worse. The actress that played Valentina, who was in virtually every scene of the movie, was so annoying that I wanted her to get shot so I wouldn't have to see her in the scenes. When she spoke about the types of food she liked they played this stupid piano music to make the scene seem more sentimental but all it did was make my eyes and ears burn.
I can't really say anything good about the movie, except for I am glad it is over. Hopefully they will not make another one of these and if they do hopefully Jason Statham will not be dumb enough to star in it.
