Freddie's Movie Review of Watchmen

THE UNWATCHABLEMEN
Freddie - wrote on 03/07/09

The best part about that movie was the credits. For three hours I sat in a theatre and I think the couple in front of me and wanted to punch me in the face, because almost everytime I shifted in agony I kicked the back of one of their chairs. This movie was absolutely miserable to me. Perhaps if I had read this graphic novel I would feel more connected. However, any one who has watched a Harry Potter movie doesn't come out of the theatre saying "Maybe I should read up on this cause I didn't quite get it."

I thought the entire thing was terrible from beginning to end. There were a few moments that caught my attention and some funny quotes, but other than that I couldn't care less about the characters. I couldn't understand their point. They were like superheros but not really, because they had no powers except the giant naked blueberry SourPatch Man. They were like Batman, but not. And we were waaay too involved in their personal drama. Now of course, everyone loves to hear the backstory of their favorite superhero. Fair enough. But this was the otherway around. It was more like, a superhero soap opera and then "Oh, look here's a fight scene for you. They kick ass don't they?" No.

And the soundtrack. I think there were more songs in that movie than in Rent. Just random songs. I thought it was cool in the first scene. They played "Unforgettable" during that fight scene, but then after that. Ridiculous. That sex scene was a little ridiculous as well. No one wants to see superheros having sex in their stupid flying machine.

Also, what was the relevance to that shifting face mask? What? I have no idea.

Why did everyone get this crazy backstory except for the brilliant freak who walks around with funny looking tigers?

Why did the make-up look like it was going to peel off at any second?

Why was this movie made?

That movie was 3 hours of torture. I almost cried. Really. Maybe I just didn't understand it. Maybe I'm a moron. But I don't think so. Terrible.