Alan @ Transbuddha's Movie Review of Doom

Rating of
0.5/4

Doom

Duum
Alan @ Transbuddha - wrote on 12/23/08

Doom isn’t just dumb; it marvels and basks in its own stupidity. If Doom was a person it would be Ashlee Simpson. If you enjoy sitting on a stranger’s couch watching people you don’t know play a boring, pointless, and poorly thought out video game well Hollywood has just cornered the market! The plot of the game, er..movie, involves an unexplained Martian magical loogey portal (kinda’ like that thing that shoots Tim Allen around in Galaxy Quest) and a Mars space station complete with airducts and sewers, a team of roughnecks led by a professional wrestler (making his second appearance on the list), and a team of scientists playing god with Martian DNA they got from…oh somewhere near the perfectly functioning loogey machine all nice and preserved after thousands of years, and a bunch of guns, dead bodies, and killin’. Aside from being completely inane and stealing story, plot, effects, and characters from everything from Aliens to Star Trek, and being almost completely without charm it’s….no, it’s awful. As I predicted in my review this “braindead regurgitated slop” did indeed make millions and proved the pessimistic side of me correct as people ate this up and begged for seconds. This is the worst type of pseudo-scif-fi and should come with a warning label and restraints to stop people from bashing their heads open on the seats in front of them just to make it stop.

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