The SHC's Movie Review of Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire

One of the Biggest Cinematic Turds EVER
The SHC - wrote on 04/16/10

God, what a bad movie. I really don't understand how anyone could like Precious. It's generic, not well made, poorly acted, and poorly written, as well as based on a crappy book. In my opinion, this is one of the worst movies of 2009, and is vastly overrated.

PLOT- The plot is pretty generic. It's the same basic over-used story that's practically a cliché now: a poor, illiterate New York teenager who has a crap personal life. Based on how many movies follow that plot, half the city's fuckin' population must consist of illiterate teenagers.

SCRIPT- Pretty average script really. I neither loved it nor hated it. It's actually the best aspect of this bombshell of a movie, and that's pretty fuckin' sad.

CHARACTERS- Ooh, boy, and what characters they are! I absolutely despised every character in this movie with a burning, incinerating passion. I absolutely loathed Precious, and she was the one we were supposed to sympathize with. I found her to be rude, inconsiderate, annoying, bland, and just plain unlikeable. For example, there’s one scene where I find her to be absolutely despicable. In it, she’s in a fast food shop, ordering a crapload of food and bossing around this poor girl working there, telling her simply “potato salad!” (it wouldn’t hurt to say “please”, you know), and when she leaves to get her more food, Precious takes her chicken and runs out without paying! She just freaking stole, and we’re supposed to SYMPATHIZE with her?? Meanwhile, there was this poor girl working what must be a very hard working and low-paying job is left without a tip, and probably is going to get in trouble for letting a customer run out without paying, most likely getting her pay deducted. I care more about that girl than I do about Precious.
And then there’s Precious’s monstrous mother. God, I truly and solemnly wanted this absolutely loathsome woman to die, that’s how much she enraged me.
ACTING- The acting is decent at best. The thing is, I despised most of the characters, especially Precious and her mother, so much so that I really didn’t care about the performances. Gabby Sidibe is OK as the title character, but like I just said, I hate the character anyways, so I wasn’t affected at all by the performance. And to be honest, I felt she was a little bland. Sorry, just my opinion.
Mo’Nique, who I am thoroughly annoyed by (I cannot tell you how much I hate that woman), gave one of the most overrated performances I have ever stumbled upon in my life. I found her annoying, unconvincing, and overacting. In short, she sucks and should never have gotten a career in acting in her life, much less a goddamn Oscar. Seriously, there were so much better candidates for that Oscar than goddamn Mo’Nique, who I feel should have won a Razzie, as well as everything else about this movie.
WRAP UP- Overall, Preciouse sucks. I’m just gonna come out and say it. It’s atrocious, hard to watch, overrated, and obnoxious, not to mention countless other adjectives that aren’t too favorable. Not only is this one of the worst films of the year, but one of the worst films of the decade. It sucks.