Rating of
3/4
Choo-Choo-Choose This Crazy Train
Chris Kavan - wrote on 08/14/22
What happens when you mix a bit of Tarantino with a helping of Guy Ritchie and some John Wick spices together? David Leitch has the recipe and Bullet Train comes out a decadent yet playful treat that caps the summer off quite nicely.
Brad Pitt - code name Ladybug - has found somewhat of a new lease on life thanks to his extra-helpful therapist, but can't shake the feeling he's still quite unlucky. His calm, collected handler (Sandra Bullock) puts up with his new age outlook even as he's given what, on the surface, seems like a quick and easy job. He just needs to retrieve a briefcase from a bullet train and get off at the next stop. But thinks are never that easy for our main character and from losing his locker key and train ticket in one bump, we know we're going to be in for a long, violent and highly entertaining ride.
Bullet Train throws out a lot of characters - each one kindly introduced by a splash screen with their "code name". We are introduced to The Father (Andrew Koji), Kimura, whose young son is recovering in the hospital after being pushed off a building when he was out. He takes the blame from The Elder (Hiroyuki Sanada) who chastises him for forgetting family - but sees a way to atone when he is contacted by the supposed perpetrator and boards a bullet train.
Tangerine (Aaron Taylor-Johnson) and Lemon (Brian Tyree Henry), the twins, are also on a job to transport The Son (Logan Lerman), a spoiled Russian brat back to his father, a powerful crime boss known as The White Death (Michael Shannon). Their briefcase with the recovered ransom money just so happens to be the same one Ladybug is sent to collect. Meanwhile, Kimura finds out his contact happens to be Prince (Joey King) a whip-smart young woman who is as cold as ice but a seemingly innocent as they come. She indeed did push the son off the building because she sees Kimura as her way to get to The White Death - seeing as he's part of his network but she also needs access to the same briefcase in order for her plan to succeed.
It soon becomes apparent that each of our characters is connected in some way, and throw in a Wolf (Bad Bunny) out for revenge and a poison-happy Hornet (Zazie Beetz) - and even a Snake (no actor here - an actual snake) and you get one hell of a ride. The pace is fast, the dialogue is snappy and the fight scenes are a lot of fun - the film never gets bogged down and about the biggest complaint I have is that with such a massive cast, you don't get the depth some of the characters deserve.
Some of the random things that shouldn't work - like Lemon's infatuation with Thomas the Tank Engine - actually make the film much more interesting. Taylor-Johnson and Henry make the best odd couple pairing and I loved their scenes together or with Pitt. Pitt is still in fine form and looking like he's having a great time. The film also manages to sneak in a couple of killer cameos that seem to be a running thing between Leitch and his films. While the story can get a bit convoluted at times, it all does make perfect sense in the end and the desserts are truly just.
Bullet Train is a smart action film that doesn't skimp on the action but manages to make you work keeping all these characters and plot points straight. But with such a wide variety of them - and some killer casting choices - it never slows down.
