The Film Rebel's Movie Review of The Wicker Man (2006)

Rating of
0.5/4

The Wicker Man (2006)

One of the Funniest movies ever made.
The Film Rebel - wrote on 10/30/10

Ok, I'm just going to come right out and say it: This is one of the funniest movies ever made. In fact, I'd go as far as to say this is one of the best comedies of the decade. I think that had this been marketed as a comedy or a spoof rather than a remake of the 70's British horror classic "The Wicker Man" it would've done better both commericially and critically. But unfortunately, it was made out to be a poor excuse of a scare fest and didn't even earn back its budget.

Well, the story is pretty simple. A cop (played by a hilariously awful Nicholas Cage) travels to an island in search of the missing daughter of his girlfriend. In the process, he learns that the island is a strange place filled with strange people and a tradition known as the burning of the Wicker Man.

The original film starring Christopher Lee and Britt Eckland is a film with a huge cult following. Its been called one of the most shocking and terrifying films that even rivals horror classics such as The Shining and The Excorsist. Now this remake, on the other hand, is a shit pile of a movie rolling down a hill of doom and going right into a dumpster of used condoms and tampons. Now when I say that, I mean that if you look at the film as a horror movie and a remake, its awful. Now if you look at it as a comedy, its friggin' hysterical.

I swear, I laughed at this film more than I laughed at The Hangover. Thats how funny it was. One of the best scenes in the movie is when Nic Cage dresses up in a bear costume and starts punching people in the face. In fact, Cage has some really memorable lines and his comedic timing is just spot on and simply brilliant. "OH GOB NOT THE BEES!! MY EEYYEEESSS!!!", "KILLING ME WON'T BRING BACK YOUR GODDAMN HONEY", and, of course, "HOW'D IT GET BURNED?!?! HOW'D IT GET BURNED?!?!?!" will remain classic lines that shall be quoted throughout the ages.

Now as a remake (and what a remake it is), this is just such a load of cespool, such a rancid pile of diarhea, such a disgusting cup of vomit, its FUCKING AWFUL!!!! This is does not do the original film any justice at all! Sure, its not as bad as the Michael Bay remakes, but at least those didn't do any dramatic chang---oh wait, nevermind. But seriously, this is a horrible remake. They change so many things around and the changes don't even help the movie. Most of them are pretty much pointles. In fact, from what I've read, when Christopher Lee saw what they did to his character, he almost immediately walked out of the premiere.

Bad acting, shitty writing, and horrible direction makes this one of the most laughably bad movies ever. But hey, it good for a decent laugh : )

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