Rating of
0.5/4
Paranormal Activity, '80's style
theCriticalMarisa - wrote on 03/11/12
Am I missing something? These movies are just awful. I watch them, hoping in vain that for once I will have to sleep with my light on, maybe have a nightmare.. With these movies I barely get a chill up my spine.
I didn't like the first movie. If I could have just watched the last twenty minutes or so, I might have liked it. But watching people sleep and brush their teeth to get to those last minutes was torture. The second movie, I actually thought was a little better. Again, decent ending and a few jumps here and there. Standard semi-annoying cast, more sleeping, etc.
Enter Paranormal Activity 3. Viewers are promised this will explain it all! The DVD case warns that the last several minutes will mess you up for life! For life! 'Now, that's what I'm talkin' about!' I think to myself, though knowing that's a giant crock of doo doo. I grab the DVD (mercifully, free, from the library), firm in the belief that I will regret it.
I take it home. I wait for it to get dark; set the mood, if you will. Give it every chance possible. Pop it in. Wow. Am I watching a demo reel of Poltergeist? Parents smoking pot, little girl being sucked into a closet. Only difference: Poltergeist is good.
There is one creepy part involving a sheet. All the other "scares" were stale. Been there, done that.
Now, we journey back to the '80's to see where it all began... The story the writers have woven to explain why Katie and Kristi are afflicted by paranormal activity is so lame and isn't fully explained (coherently, anyway) in this movie. You'll have to wait for Paranormal Activity FOUR for that! Usually I can count on these movies for a pretty good ending. So not the case here. When it cut to black I literally said, out loud, "is that seriously the end?" and waited for the movie to come back on. Roll credits. Ohh.. kay.. Messed up for life? Hardly.
This is a completely skippable movie, just a filler and a money maker between the second and inevitable fourth films.
