Full Movie Reviews
Rating of
2/4
Wishing This Was Better
MovieMike - wrote on 01/25/2017
When I first saw previews for ‘Ted’, I immediately thought this was a blatant rip-off of FX’s series, ‘Wilfred’. Close, but not quite. Instead of a man-sized dog that only Elija Wood can talk to, ‘Ted’ comes to life for all to see and interact with – most specifically his ‘thunder buddy’, Mark Wahlberg. ‘Ted’ is powered by Seth McFarlane’s voice and comedy (if you’ve ever seen TV’s ‘Family Guy’, you have an idea of what’s in store).
The basis of the story is that young John Bennett is a loner who is ignored by his peers. Starving for a real friend, he wishes his teddy bear Christmas present could be his live best buddy. When this does come to pass, Ted initially freaks everyone out, but then quickly becomes the celebrity of the moment. As John (now …
Rating of
3/4
F*** You Thunder!
Gabe - wrote on 01/19/2013
Essentially a live action version of Family Guy, with even a few of those great cut-aways. There is even a reference to the fact that Ted sounds like Peter Griffin. All of the key players are featured in this film, if even for a scene. The weakest link was probably Mark Wahlberg. Now, I'm not a huge fan of "Marky Mark," but, I know that he can do better. As some have noted below, there are some flaws with the script, but that's to be expected for this type of film. It's not going for prestige. I thought this was a good and original first effort from Seth MacFarlane. I'm excited to see what he does on the Oscar's broadcast.
SPOILER ALERT: When Ted comes back to life at the end, they should have kept him retarded with a huge scar running through his midsection.
Rating of
2.5/4
Hope You Like Family Guy
Taz - wrote on 01/12/2013
Have you ever watched Family guy and wished it had more cursing? Then this is the movie for you. I really enjoyed the crude humor in the movie but it did get a little old after the one hour mark. What did surprise me was that the story was well thought out executed very well. This could have been a horrible movie full of crude humor but instead it was a very watchable movie full of crude humor. I have to give Seth MacFarlane credit for that. If he can turn out some better stories and tone done the crudeness he could make some really good movies in the future. I also can not ignore the actors. Mark Wahlberg played a bumbling buffoon very well but my favorite part was Joel McHale as the slimy boss. Joel McHale can play an arrogant ass like nobody else. In the end if you can't get past some …
Rating of
4/4
Mcfarlane never fails in making me laugh
Lee - wrote on 08/07/2012
Ok that was one foul mouthed teddy bear...so where can i get one? When i had originally heard that the master of the mst funniest tv show on the planet(Family Guy) Seth Mcfarlane was making a feature film i imediatly assumed it was for Family Guy. Then i slowly started to see the trailers for Ted upon their release and lmao!! Just got back from the drive-in after seeing this with The Dark Knight Rises and it did not dissapoint(Not that i thought it would either) The movie made up to all my expectations laugh wise and i am now anticpating owning the blu ray when it gets released as im sure this is a movie much like the comedic great Borat that i can watch 100 times and still laugh like originally viewing it.
Mark Wahlberg is one of my all time favorite actors, who i must say having …
Rating of
3/4
There's something about Ted!
MovieAddict - wrote on 07/30/2012
Mark Wahlberg plays John, a lonely little boy who wants a BFF but instead gets a teddy bear Ted for Christmas. He makes a wish on a falling star that Ted could talk and become his best friend and the 8-year-old wish comes true and becomes a popular story across the world.
We later catch up with the 35 yr old John who is now in a long-term relationship with Lori (Mila Kunis) but when things get out of control, (in a scene involving Ted, 3 women and feces) he faces a dilemma: he must choose between his girlfriend or his foul-mouthed teddy that he loved and been living with for 27 years. To complicate matters we have Giovanni Ribisi as a freaky lifetime stalker of Ted who wants to 'own' Ted for his overweight son which leads to more amusing scenes.
This movie is rated R for a reason …
Rating of
3.5/4
Ted review
Daniel Corleone - wrote on 07/21/2012
This flick caught this critic by surprise, from the cameos, jokes and cultural references. In 1985, John's parents (Alex Borstein and Ralph Garman) give a teddy bear for Christmas. John names him Ted and wishes he were alive. Presently, John (Mark Wahlberg) lives with his long time loyal girlfriend Lori (Mila Kunis) and Ted. Donny (Giovanni Ribisi) tries to buy Ted for his son. The premise of having a Teddy Bear come to life is difficult, the writer-director (in which this reviewer admittedly enjoys the humor of the TV show created by the Director) made it engaging from the very beginning. Best lines: Narrator - "But eventually, everyone grows up." Ted - "Okay. All right. So that's where we'll draw the line."
Very funny with enough touching moments in the end, though it could …
Rating of
3.5/4
Very Funny and, Oddly, Touching.
mitchellyoung - wrote on 07/15/2012
Ted is surprisingly fresh and consistently funny. Wahlberg and Kunis win points for being unafraid to be silly and some of the film's best scenes are created from their enthusiasm for the material. Besides a few awesome cameos (which I won't spoil,) the film's real star, of course, is Ted, a character whose mere appearance conjures up sympathy, despite the vulgar things that pour out of his mouth. Somehow, the film's conclusion even pulls at the heartstrings, touching on themes of nostalgia and friendship. My one complaint is that, like with most McFarlane projects, the script is occasionally too smart for its own good and some jokes feel like rejects from the Family Guy writing sessions - one-liners or comedic observations that don't really flow organically with the story. Still, …
Rating of
3/4
Review: Ted
MikePA - wrote on 06/30/2012
Seth MacFarlane's Ted isn't like most modern comedies, where soulless characters just throw a bunch of unfunny jokes and puns at you in hope for a chuckle or two. Ted is a real comedy. It's the real deal. It's dirty, it's profane, it's (somewhat) offensive, and beneath all of that is a great big heart. Even if you're not fully enveloped into the story, there's so much here to appreciate: the writing, the energy, and, most importantly, Ted himself.
The simple premise of Ted is just... f*cking brilliant. It's so wacky and so knowingly dumb that you just can't help but laugh at it. It pokes fun at itself, which is what makes the movie so good. Young John Bennett is a lonely, friend-less little boy who gets a teddy bear for Christmas. He loves it to death and names it Teddy. "I wish you …
