Rating of
2.5/4
"Machete" by Yojimbo
Yojimbo - wrote on 09/02/12
An ex-Mexican Federale is forced into attempting to assassinate a bigoted Senatorial candidate in an attempt to ensure the control of drug trafficking over the US border. Another product of the Tarantino-Rodriguez Grindhouse project, Machete is an homage to exploitation flicks of the 70s and 80s. Sharing a lot in common with the likes of Shaft, this film can be though of as Mexploitation as the bear-like, stone-faced Danny Trejo cuts a swathe through a collection of the usual bad guy stereotypes using a variety of pointy objects ensuring the mixture of blood, guts, decapitations and gratuitous female nudity you'd expect. Unfortunately lacking the over-the-top gleefulness of Planet Terror, Machete takes itself rather too seriously and the total absence of laughs means that this parody of bone-headed action movies becomes exactly that; just another bone-headed action movie. Rodriguez is one of the foremost directors of action out there and there are plenty of set pieces to prevent boredom but the plot is straight out of a dodgy 80s TV show (Miami Vice or The A-Team being the prime examples) and the eclectic casting choices were a mistake; Lohan does nothing but show off her funbags and Seagal is as terrible as he always is in his own action clusterf**ks. Nowhere near as bad as the likes of The Expendables but still it comes across as yet another remake of El Mariachi without the charm or humour.
