Rating of
0.5/4
Review - ItNotK: A Dungeon Siege Tale (2008)
Delorted - wrote on 01/15/08
Hey, did you hear? Uwe Boll has a brand new movie out called “In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale.” Judging by those two facts alone, you can be sure this will be an awful week for movies.
The plot simmers aroud a farmer, Farmer (Jason Statham) who loses his son to an evil sorcerer, Gallian (Ray Liotta), and he sets off to avenge the boy’s death and bring peace to the land. Meanwhile, King Konreid (Burt Reynolds) is being plotted against by his nephew Duke Fallow (Matthew Lillard), who hopes to be king when Konreid dies. Original enough for you?
Boll has made some really bad movies in his time, but this one brings a new low to his career. There’s not one point during the movie where you know what’s going on, and even if you think you do, something happens to make the plot even more confusing. There are character and plot elements that just get thrown around and never explained. I guess if it looks cool, why have a reason for anything?
But that’s just it, it doesn’t look cool. The “action” scenes are on par with either a bad episode of Star Trek or a good episode of Power Rangers. There are these orc-like creatures that are attacking for who knows what reason, and they look like costumes you can pick up at a Halloween stores. The acting shouldn’t even be called that. It’s more like getting-in-front-of-a-camera-and-saying-lines-your-read-earlier-in-the-worst-way-you-can-come-up-with. I guess that’d be hard to put on a business card though.
I don’t know how many other people would be bothered by this, but the music is really awkward. It’s everywhere and yet nowhere and tries so hard to be more than it really is. It makes the story sound more passionate than it is at all given times. Unfortunately, it’s also the best thing about the movie.
“Dungeon Siege” is just too hard to watch without wanting to tear out your hair, glue it back in, then tear it out again. Don’t waste your money. Ever.
Acting: 0/10
Writing: 0/10
Video/Editing: 0/10
Audio/Music: 1/10
Entertainment: 0/10
Final Score: 0.2/10
